Num. 1
You tried, tried and tried to get the most valuable thing a man can ever get. And then because it seemed difficult. You DECIDED to give up..... To me, that's bad news. Before I go on, I'll like to correct an impression. God DOES NOT understand. It is a big mistake to think so. I am not trying to be blunt here though. We're only trying to be realistic. You see friend, it's never easy in the beginning. However, it is more than 'sweet' in the end. Anyone who has his salvation IN THE BEGINNING as a sweet, comfortable and fantastic experience IS NOT saved. Jesus said in Matt. 24:13, "But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved."

Only a deceiver tells you there isn't something to endure as a christian. THAT IS THE PRICE FOR SALVATION WHICH EVERYONE MUST PAY. Thanks to God that you have experienced it yourself.<p> Friend, I am trying to tell you that the decision you made is the decision Satan always wants every believer to make. I wouldn't hide the fact that you have conformed to the will of Satan from you. However, the good news is that Jesus is ever willing to come back to you if you are to come back to Him. All you need to do is open up yourself to the truth. Say to yourself, "I fought once and lost. But that is not to say there isn't gonna be another fight. And I am gonna come out full force with all determination, focus and vigour. I have lost to fight another day. And to come out triumphant."

I am assuring you that God will be on your side and He will see you through. You see, it wouldn't do you any good to sit down there and "accept your fate". I found Jesus at the age of 11. I despised the shame from friends and loved ones and held on to Him. Today, I am almost 17 and you wouldn't believe how high I am in the Spirit.

Finally, I want you to think about it this way. Many tried and failed. Many tried and triumphed. I belong to the group that fought and failed but there is still a chance to fight. Why don't I just come out, fight again and belong to the triumphant group. I was born to win, a winner I am and a winner I'll always be.......

Remember that HELL awaits every unbeliever. And an unbeliever is what you still are........

God bless you.

Num. 2
Your problem is simple but VERY serious. This is because all it takes for you to have a change is self-discipline. The Bible makes it clear that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. However, you have the major work to do as far as this is concerned. Like I stated earlier, self-discipline is the major thing you need. Discipline entails doing what you have to do at all costs even if it is going to be unbearable and uneasy for you. A major war has got to be fought against the flesh. I will like to state at this point that the consequences of a prayerless christian life could be very devastating. It gives the devil more room to operate against you and your salvation. It also makes you vulnerable as a christian. In addition, your requests cannot be effectively made known unto God without prayers. The Bible says in Mk.11:24, "Whatsoever things you desire, when ye PRAY, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."
You need to be determined to change as you are bound to be ineffective and unfruitful as a christian without a good prayer life.

You can also pray to God to give you the grace and enablement you need.
In conclusion, remember that prayer is your major and/or only medium of communication with God and that it is your major weapon of war against Satan.

Finally, I'll like to make you know that there is a level you get to as a christian where the willingness to pray will always be found in you. It becomes a hobby and not a phobia. I pray for God to bring you up to this level in Jesus' name.

You can send a message to me if you want additional help concerning this.